Christmas magic

This month is almost over.  Praise the Lord.  It's been a tough one too.  I was smart and bought most of our Christmas gifts before Thanksgiving, but then agreed to make 5 penguin costumes for my daughters school Christmas program.  Being that I've only sewed one pair of pj pants in the last 20 years, this was a big endeavor.  I also thought I'd be crafty and make a few blankets as gifts.  I don't regret any of it, however, it made for a crazy December.  I do, however, feel blessed beyond belief at what joy these kids bring me and my hubby.  Crazy, hectic joy is still joy.  Just with a few gray hairs thrown in.  Tonight, all four of my kids dressed up in their fanciest clothes, they did their hair, and the girls even put on a little make up.  They turned on some ballroom music and held a Christmas prom in the living room.  The lights from the tree sparkled and they just laughed and danced.  It really was magic.  I can't wait for my sweet girl to be home in a few short months to enjoy all this craziness.  I've got a few blonde hairs left on my head that are just waiting for her shenanigans to turn them gray.  And since we're talking about Christmas magic, I would love to see a miracle happen and have Russia open back up their doors.  Joshua should have been here this year to enjoy Christmas.  Miracles happen every day, so I will just keep on praying.  For now, I'm going to enjoy the calm of Christmas break.  Well....if you want to call it that.  The kids are home from school, which is enough to put me on my knees and beg God for my sanity back.  But I also have nothing to do except play with these little cherubs.  Merry Christmas to everyone reading this and I hope your holidays are special!

USCIS Approval

We got it!!!  Our I800-A has finally been approved!  That means the US has approved us to adopt.  Now we need to send all our paperwork to my girls country.  I can't be certain, but I'm pretty sure a few things happened when I opened up my mail.

The sky opened up and angels began to sing.

People everywhere jumped in celebration.

 

Even the animals got excited.

 

Yep....kind of like that.

 

 

Goodness....if getting USCIS approval is this exciting, I wonder what getting clearance from my girls' country will feel like......

 

 

Come on already!!

I believe it's been six weeks since we received our Request for Evidence letter from USCIS.  I've gone through a few phases since then.  The first was the "It's ok because people make mistakes" phase.  In my previous life, I prepared taxes.  Even the smartest and most experienced person (not me) can make a mistake.  It's cool.  But after 3 weeks of waiting for the missing information to show up, I moved into the "My jaw hurts like heck because of tension" phase.  After my social worker received the clearance and I still didn't receive the addendum for another week, I moved on to the "Don't talk to me.  I'm bitter and angry" phase.  I decided it would be best that I talk to no one.  Only negativity came out of my mouth.  God worked on me during that phase.  I turned to Him and just tried to keep my mouth shut.  This is why I'm a God fan.  He is there to keep me from going off the deep end.  But now, I'm just in the "I'm completely dumbfounded" phase.  The USCIS officer has had my changes for a week and she's not returning my phone calls.  I'm not a drinker.....well...not much of a drinker....but this whole situation has me googling sangria recipes.  Why be dumbfounded, bitter, or angry on Thanksgiving?  Instead, I'm going to take my stress out on a sangria and a whole lot of turkey.  Poor turkey.....

 

Feeling Down

On October 17th, we received a Request for Evidence from the USCIS office (otherwise known as a pink-slip).  There was an item missing from our home study.  Over two weeks later and we're still waiting to get that cleared up.  To top it off, I found a new picture of my little dude on the internet.  My heart just aches right now.  I hate this feeling of helplessness.  On the other hand, I feel so blessed to see my boy again.  But it hurts.  All the memories have come flooding back of our visits with him.  The feel of his hair on my nose as I kissed his head.  His sweet smile.  The smell of his little neck.  And I am also frightened that something will get in the way of getting our sweet girl home.  God tells us not to worry, so I am truly trying hard to just relax.  But I am praying continuously that things clear up soon and God provides comfort to get through this ugly bump in the road.

Waiting....

While we wait....here's a photo of my girl.  She is giving me the look that all my kids give me.  I think that's why I know she'll fit into our family just fine.....  Molly gives me this look, along with "Really, mom" at least once a day.  I can just see the two of them together.  It'll be awesome!  Approximately one more month of waiting before we receive our I-800 approval and our dossier can be mailed off to her country.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.....

Moving Along....

Our next step in Josie's adoption is to get our fingerprints taken.  These fingerprints are for USCIS, which is our homeland security clearance.  The U.S. has to give us permission to adopt internationally before we send our dossier (paperwork) to China.  First, we had to have a finalized home study.  Then, we sent that home study, along with the application and $890 to them.  Now, we have to have our fingerprints done electronically down in our state capital.  We have that appointment date for this next Monday.  Once that is done, we wait.  It could be a month.  It could be 2 months.  USCIS takes our fingerprints (makes sure we aren't felons) and reviews our home study.  Our home study has to be written exactly according to specifications in order for them to approve us.  Hopefully, our social worker did it right.  Sometimes, USCIS "pink slips" and needs wording changed or more information.  This sets you back in your timeline though so let's just pray it clears quickly.  Once we have approval, we can mail off our dossier to China.  And then we wait more.  I love waiting.  It is so much fun. 

A Painful Day

Today is my dude's 4th birthday.  Most people would celebrate.  I am not.  In fact, I'm having a hard time getting through this whole week leading up to his birthday.  There will be no candles or cake.  He will get no gifts.  No singing or clapping either.  But what is really making my heart ache, is that on his 4th birthday, my dude will be transferred out of his baby home and into a mental institute.  I don't know where either.  It could be a good one or it could be a bad one.  I've seen pictures and stories of both.  I will lose track of him now.  I've always had a fear of losing my kids in the wilderness when we go camping.  That's how I feel now.  It's pure panic.  There's so many dangers looming and I can't protect him.  Will he be safe?  Or will he be like most children with special needs that die within a few years due to lack of care?  He's lost.  I can't get to my dude with his sweet smile and haunting eyes.  It's killing me.

Please pray for my little man. 

Road Trip!

Every two years, I take my sweet babies back to Ohio to visit my family.  We've always flown, but this time I'm on a tight budget.  We are taking a road trip instead!  My hubby is staying home (because someone has to work) and I am heading into the wild blue yonder with the kids.  I'm pretty sure the hardest part will be getting through the never ending state of Montana, but we have some great pit stops planned.  And the best part....we're camping at KOAs!  Because who doesn't love a KOA?  Pray for us and pray my kids don't kill each other on the way.  I will blog more as I get the chance.

They're spelling O-H-I-O for those of you who are confused.....lol.....

Fun in the Sun

Holy smokes!  It's been a month since I blogged.  I have to get better at this.  We have been super busy just having fun.  Spending our days at the pool and our weekends camping.  This past weekend, we camped at a mountain reservoir.  Our campsite was right next to a small inlet of water off the main river.  This spot had really shallow and slow moving water so it was safe to let the kids have fun and for me to relax. 

This may be the first year where the kids have all been old enough for me to enjoy camping.  I'm the over-cautious mom who always has to have one eye on her kids.  Molly has always been a wanderer, which could be horrifying if you're in the wilderness.  But my husband grew up camping and is great at it.  It's in his blood.  He takes off on hiking and rafting trips a few times a year and his goal is to one day retire and be a forest ranger.  I think he's crazy.  I can usually only camp one day before my allergies get so bad that we have to leave.  Campfire smoke makes me absolutely miserable.  So does grass, dust, wheat, corn, or anything else nature related....  So we compromise and go on short camping trips.  This is easy since we live in Montana and there are several great spots within an hour or so from our house. 

My birthday was a few days ago and my family got me a sewing machine.  It's been years since I've sewed but I'm excited to learn again.  I have been eyeing some valances out of my Country Sampler magazine for about 2 years now, but I refuse to pay the extravagant prices.  That might just be my first project (because how hard can valances be to sew???)  And if they come out well, I'll make some special ones for Halloween and Christmas.  Because that would just be cool....

Mr. Bean, our big baby, had knee surgery this past week as well.  He's been confined to his kennel with next to no movement for the next few weeks.  He started licking his stitches and was condemned to the cone of shame....

Remember when I mentioned that once you decide to adopt, expenses come out of the woodwork?  Beans knees have been one of them.  But he is family and he's only 2 years old and he is a big baby.  I love him.  He is the most gentle of giants and is sweeter than pie.  What can you do but give the pup his surgery. 

On the adoption side, we're just waiting on our home study update to be finalized.  Our dossier paperwork is ready to go otherwise.  Once we get our home study, we can mail it off to get pre-approval from the US to adopt (I-800a).  Once that's back, we can mail off our dossier to China.  That's when the REAL waiting begins.  But one thing I've learned from our last year is that you can't let the waiting get to you.  That's always the hardest part so instead of thinking about it, just live life and don't waste time on the worrying.  And that's my advice for the day.  Or the month since I can't seem to remember to blog... 

Dinner Time Blues

Am I the only parent out there that gets totally and utterly exhausted just from sitting down at supper time?  Tonight may have topped the cake.  I found myself watching meal time unfold like I was in an Adam Sandler movie.  It started out pretty normal....Lily, my 6 year old, looking at her soup with fear.  "Mom...did you forget I'm a vegetarian?"  My reply is always the same..."No Lily.  You are not a vegetarian.  For one thing, you live in Montana and vegetarians aren't allowed in Montana.  Second, your favorite food is a meatball and that is definitely not vegetarian.  Now eat your soup, please."  The conversation continues like it does every supper time..."Mom...I don't like this soup".  I reply with the same lie every time.... "This is your favorite soup, Lily.  Don't you remember?  You had it before and you said it was the best soup you ever had.  I remember you saying that".  Eventually, she tastes it and realizes it's edible.  This happens during every single meal.

After a minute or two, I look over at Molly, my 8 year old, and I realize she is licking the dollop of sour cream off the top of her soup like a cat.  No big deal.  Molly often eats just the frosting off of cupcakes or the whipped cream from her pancakes.  But then, after she licks all the sour cream out of her soup, she looks at me (with sour cream on her nose) and asks "More soup please!".  Wait a minute....the actual soup hasn't been touched. 
Me:  Eat the rest of your soup, please.
Molly:  No!  More soup please!
Me:  Eat the soup that's in your bowl.
Molly:  More! More! More!! 
This goes on for a while........

 But what is odd about this whole dinner, is that right when I'm getting annoyed with the "I only want to eat sour cream for dinner" fight, I hear a soft "moo" sound.  What???  Why is there a cow moo-ing in my kitchen?  Sophia, my 10 year old pipes up "That's my cow.  His name is Kevin".  Apparently, she started playing with an app on the IPad called Minecraft and there's cows involved.  So as we're trying to have a peaceful dinner, I randomly hear gentle moo's.  I know we live on a farm, but our farm doesn't have any real animals on it yet.  So the sound of a cow was just....interesting.

After a while, all my kids start eating like they're supposed to.  Yes!!!  Battle won and I haven't even raised my voice!  But just as I'm starting to pat myself on the back..... "Burp!  Excuse me, I'm a big fat hog".  That would be Brady, my 5 year old.  Well, we can't have a meal without bad manners.  This just ignites the whole table to a riot of burps and toots.  This is when I start to just zone out.  I really do.  I can't get through a single meal without this happening, even when we have guests over.  Just when I think my husband is going to step up and start the lecture on good table manners, I hear "BBBBUUUUURRRRRPPPPPP".  Yep...that would be my husband.  I give up.

I will have to say that my family behaves exceptionally well in restaurants.  Only the occasional burp from Brady that quickly gets a reprimand.  My kids (and husband) do well when they're supposed to and are proper when they have to be.  I guess that's all this mom can ask for.

A Big Decision

About a month ago, my husband and I decided we were going to begin the process of adoption over again.  We have absolutely-positively-certainly-undeniably not given up on our little dude.  His space in the family will always be there and the second Russia opens, we are on a plane.  Joshua is, and always will be a member of our family.  So why would we start a new adoption?  Anyone who has ever adopted will tell you, satan steps it up BIG TIME and tortures the heck out of you the minute you decide to adopt.  Everything possible will break in your house and car.  You will, out of nowhere have a hail storm that destroys your roof.  Your septic will back up and flood the basement.  Your car will start making horrible clicking sounds and definitely need new tires.  These are all things that happened to us this last year.  Our first thought was "if we start the process over, what could possibly break this year".  Maybe our roof will cave in or our hay field will start on fire.  Let's just pray that God will get us through it.  So with that said....

Please welcome our little princess.  She is seven and all sass!  This little girl is going to fit right in.....

Meet the Family

My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years.  We were both in high school and a mutual friend set us up on a blind date.  It was so romantic....a spring dance.  Actually, I'm lying.  It wasn't romantic.  We stopped by the dance, which was taking place in our high school cafeteria.  If I remember right, there weren't even decorations.  But he was absolutely adorable so who cared!  Our second date was my prom, and third date was his prom.  Maybe I should write a book about how to get a guy to fall in love with you in three dates.  It's easy!!  Go to a whole lot of dances!  I'll admit, he was pretty smitten with me from the start.  I'm not sure why, being that I tooted on him during our first date.  Maybe that should be added to the dating book....toot immediately because apparently high school boys love that.  Or maybe we were both just desperate.... I had a white girl afro and he had little chicken legs.  The awkwardness of those first dates was fantastic.  It took my man three months to kiss me, but when he did...fireworks.  Three years later, we were married and have lived happily ever after.

When it comes to men, my husband is pretty fantastic.  He's a dentist, an Air Force officer, a square dancer, hiker, camper, and awesome dad.  He takes our kids fishing and camping at every opportunity.  I think he's hoping that at least one of his kids will be a forest ranger when they grow up.  That's what he wants to do when he retires.....

My goal in life is to have at least one athlete in the family.  My ideal evening is going to my child's sporting event, eating a pretzel, and cheering my kids on.  I'm that scary mom that doesn't shut up when my kid is playing soccer or basketball.  I'm the mom that watches her daughter during Special Olympics with a tear in her eye due to pure pride.  But I'm also the mom that can't help my kids with home work because I get too agitated.  Dad's gotta do that....and he's good too.  I wish I had his patience.  It's a beautiful thing.  Notice there's no picture of me....that's because I haven't taken a great picture since 1995.  And it's my blog so I don't have to show you a picture if I don't want to.

We have four amazing children.  And when I say amazing, I mean AMAZING.  Sophia is my oldest and her goal in life is....hmmmm....well, she doesn't really have any at this time (she's only 10).  She loves reading with a passion.  She also loves to travel.  I have her pegged to join the Peace Corp one day.  She's my escort for charitable events because her heart is huge.  That, and my husband prefers to stay at home and
NOT go to events that involve dressing up.  Sophia doesn't mind.  She loves going places and seeing new things.  I've tried pushing her into sports...... basketball, softball, and soccer just to name a few.  You can often times catch me praying for God to make Sophia an athlete...but I'm pretty sure he's got other plans for her.  She is a diva in every way.  I love to watch her run around the bases during softball....it's much like watching Mariah Carey run in heels.  But heck, she's beautiful so I will continue to just cheer her on. 

Molly is my sweet angel.  We found out she was born with an extra chromosome right after birth.  I didn't care.  I knew she could make me proud and be involved with Special Olympics.  For someone with very bad gross motor development, the girl can play sports.  She's my ballet, soccer, swimming, basketball, and softball loving girl.  I'm so proud.  She's also daddy's girl because she loves to watch Dr Who episodes with him.  That's all it takes to win his heart....

Lily is my rough tom-boy.  She has to be first in every realm of her life.  Everything is a competition for Lily and she's brilliant too.  She sees every detail in a book and will do her homework until it's perfect.  If a friend at school does the monkey bars, she will keep practicing the monkey bars until she can do them backwards and with a flip.  Raising Lily was rough though.  She wanted her way at all times and would scream without ceasing for hours.  I'll be honest...I went back to work for a few years.  Yes, it was THAT rough.  Her first day of kindergarten was the best day of my life, and surprisingly, she didn't throw fits at school.  She needed school and she needed to be around friends.  It is still amazing to watch her blossom into a beautiful little girl.  And I'm a stay-at-home mom again.  Life is good.

Brady was my surprise.  I had planned on adopting our 4th child, but my little man came along.  After three girls, I didn't even know what to do with a boy.  But turns out, I didn't have to do anything.  He just magically became all boy.  Trucks, tractors, and animals came naturally.  Except he did occasionally put on his sisters dresses.... but that's normal, right?  He's stubborn like an ox.....just like his daddy.  For several YEARS, he wore his underpants, shirts, and jeans backwards because he was sure that's how they were supposed to be.  Try going to the grocery store like that.  Brady is amazing though and I love watching him and his dad work outside together.  He is truly a blessing.

All of my children have put so much magic into my life.  How do people function without the dinner time belches, continuous poop in the toilet, and messy house?  I love it!!  I love being a mom to these great little human beings.  Life is not just good.  It's wonderful.

About our farm

I grew up on a hobby farm.  My dad worked full time and then farmed on the side.  We were in 4-H and took projects each year and those were the animals that happened to be in our barn.  Looking back, I'm pretty sure I stunk at 4-H projects.  In fact, I'm certain of it.  My bunny rabbit died right before the fair.  The big bunny chewed a whole in the wire of the cage and decided to use my little bunny as a pillow.  If my memory is correct, he looked something like this.  Look at those angry eyes.......
                                              

One year I took a lamb.  Of course I waited until right before the fair to start leading it.  So in other words, he lead me.  I have vivid memories of leading it into the arena at the fair so it could be sold.  Interesting how I cried like a baby in front of all the fair-goers.  My poor lamb, which I could have cared less about 5 minutes earlier, was going to get slaughtered.
                                              

Odd that I have a sudden craving for lamb chops.  Mmmmm........
                                           

And finally, I remember my mom telling me to stay in the house for a while.  Of course that means sneak out and see what's going on.  There, next to the barn was our cow....skinned and hanging on a rack.
                                                

I'd like to say, poor cow....but let's be honest, I don't pity the cow.  I love me some beef.  I love grilling up some rib-eyes.  I'd like to have a big freezer full of beef right now.  In fact, here's a great website that will help you cook up some of that meat.  http://thepioneerwoman.com/

 I learned quickly that you don't get attached to farm animals.  Well, except the sweet baby chicks that ended up having their heads cut off in my garage....but I won't post a picture of that.  Looking back, I think....dang!!!  Those were some bad memories!  But really, they were great memories.  I loved living on a little farm.  I really loved going to the fair and hanging out with friends.  Ahhh....the smells and the lights.  The thought of seeing some cute boys.  And most importantly, the fair food!!!!
                        

And I really really loved having the space to run around and shoot my bb gun.  My husband had his share of memories too, but I think they involved urinating on frogs.
                                         

He claims the frogs deserved it because they peed on him first.  But he was also caught hiding up in a tree and urinating on his sister when she walked below him.  We have a recurring theme here...

My husband and I have always wanted to give our children the same great childhood that we experienced.  So two years ago, we moved out of town and onto a farm.  Right away, we allowed some horses to use the land to graze.  They're still alive....probably because the owners take care of them instead of me.

In the spring, we get to see the mama's have their babies.

 The horsey-owners even let our kids play with the pony.  They got pretty attached....until the pony dropped over dead of old age.... Pistols death was a tough one because he was our friend.  The kids surprised me though and got over it pretty quickly.  Not me.  I still miss the old boy.

That fall, we decided to give bunny rabbits a try.  Darn things kept getting out of their cage.  Sophia and her dad made a game out of catching them though so it was kind of fun.  Kind of.  Eventually we gave up and let them run free.  Now, they hang out in my garden and steal my food.

Next, we found out our barn cat was pregnant, so we were going to have baby kitties!!!  That was the most fun!  The kids loved on those kitties like they were....well....baby kitties.  Unfortunately, we had an incident that I won't speak about.  It involved the neighbor dog and violence.  That was a tragic one.  We had a lovely funeral for two of them.
                                 

Do you see a recurring theme here???  I try.  Is it just me???  Or is it just farm life.  Either way, my kids are learning a lot about animals and the circle of life.  And my kids are loving it.  My son loves going for walks with the dog and exploring.  Look at that dirty little face.  I want to smooch him!!

My girls love helping in the garden and chasing after the one remaining baby kitty.  They love playing on their trampoline and doing flips on the swing set.

They love helping their daddy irrigate the hay field.  Oh wait...they don't help irrigate.  They run through the water and cause chaos.  But that's ok.  That's what kids do.
                 

Finally a picture of Sophia.....nice pj's and flapper girl head-band.  You are looking good.....

Now, you all are just making us look crazy.....

Here we go....that's nice.

Next spring, we're going to give chickens a try.  We like to ease into the farm life here.  One of my sweet friends mentioned that we don't live on a farm....we live on a pet cemetery.  I think she's right.  But, we are learning a lot and having fun. 

Last Year

I will title this post as "Last Year".  A lot happened last year, but it all revolved around one thing....trying to adopt a little boy from Russia.  I think we all know how this is going to end before it even starts.  Last January, we started the process of adopting sweet Joshua.

My dude.  I fell in love instantly.  How can you not fall in love with his sweet face?  His eyes threw daggers into my soul.  We all know that instant "awwww" moment in the movie Shrek, when Puss in Boots gives the "look"........
                                           
It's the same look.  So it was decided....we were heading to Russia.  We tried to live a normal life, but let's admit, you can't live a normal life when you're trying to trudge through an international adoption.  But with 4 little kids at home, we had plenty of great distractions.  We visited Joshua for the first time in September 2012.  He was everything we imagined.  At first, he was excited to have a playmate.  But he gave me this look alot....

 It was the "Why are you hanging with me" look.  And the "What's up with you smooching on me" face.  I couldn't help it.  I had waited 9 months to smooch those cheeks.  Yes, he smelled like boiled cabbage, but I loved on that boy like it was going out of style.  Soon enough, he warmed up to us and we got plenty of great laughs out of him.

We already had our dossier complete, except now Russia decided they wanted a heck of a lot more adoption training.  And the kicker was that it was supposed to include face to face training.  Well now, where in the world do you get face to face Russian training in Montana??  The only training you're getting in Montana has to do with either ranching or ......ranching.  Maybe a training course on how to drive on gravel roads during a snowstorm.  Anywho.... we ended up flying all the way to Florida in order to get this training done quickly.  I won't complain about going to Florida.... I see why retired folk go there in the winter.  It was pretty nice.  We finished our training and had our court date set for January 15th....and then the ban hit.  No more American adoptions.  Just like that.  My dude was stuck.  No one could tell us exactly what was going on so we went for our court date anyways.  We saw our dude again and loved on him even though we knew there was a big chance they wouldn't let us bring him home.

It's not easy to hold the boy you were planning on adopting, knowing you may never see him again.  Some people may not understand this, but when you make that decision to adopt, your heart begins to ache for them like they are your biological child.  Leaving him in Russia is like leaving my biological child in Russia.  The courts denied our adoption based on the ban, so of course we are appealing.  We came home and grieved.  I've gone through all the typical emotions of denial, anger, grief and acceptance.  Heck, I've even dropped my share of "f" bombs with fantasies of punching a few Russians in the throat.  But in the end, we are still fighting and praying that one day our boy will come home.  He's a part of our family, whether he's here or not.  And that smell of boiled cabbage I mentioned earlier......I miss it.  I'd give anything to smell that again.

The Beginning

I've been meaning to start a blog for a really long time, but my fear of technology keeps getting in the way.  Everyday, I tell myself that I will try to get my blog up and running...tomorrow.  And then tomorrow turns into the next day.  Today is the day.  I still can't figure out how to get pictures up, but I guess that's another task for another day.